Sis, Stop Carrying Tomorrow

Lately I've noticed something about myself.

I'll be sitting at my desk, answering an email, and somehow my mind is already worrying about next week, next month, and a conversation that hasn't even happened yet.

Nothing is wrong.

But my mind is everywhere except where my feet are.

Maybe you've been there too.

Maybe you've been carrying responsibilities, expectations, deadlines, and what-ifs for so long that it feels normal.

Maybe you've gotten so used to preparing for the next thing that you've forgotten how to experience the thing you're in.

In this episode, I'm talking about what happens when life gets loud, when our minds get ahead of us, and why sometimes the most important thing we can do is come back to the present moment.

Because sis, you don't have to carry tomorrow before it gets here.

Grab your coffee, take a seat, and let's talk.

Book Recommendation:
📚 The Wedding Date by The Wedding Date
📚 The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Hosted, Directed, and Produced by Beautifully Unbalanced

Editing and Audio Production by LS Music Group

Transcript

Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the Beautifully Unbalanced podcast, where we are becoming who we're meant to be one honest conversation at a time. Today, I just wanna thank you so much for sharing your time, your space, and of course, your energy with me today. Now, before we dive into today's conversation though, I just wanna add my two cents.

So my two cents is that I feel like sometimes we take for granted all the things that our mind, our body, and our soul gives us, and I just wanna take a moment to say that I am grateful for this body. I'm grateful for my mind to be able to create, and I'm grateful for my soul and my spirit that allows me to connect because sometimes I think we take for granted that our body allows us to get up each and every morning and to live, and that our mind not only allows us to create, but it allows us to feel alive.[00:01:00] 

And your soul is the one thing that allows you to have that meaningful connection, and I think it's just very important to every day just say thank you. Thank you. Thank you to my mind, my body, and my soul, that I wake up each and every day with all of them intact. So that's just my two cents. Um, you can tell me what you think All right, so let's jump into today's conversation.

So today I want to talk about something that I think a lot of us experience, especially me. But sometimes I feel like we don't always have the language to communicate what is-- what we're actually feeling sometimes and what's actually going on with us. But I wanna talk about our nervous system, how sometimes it feels so overloaded, overstimulated.

But before we get into that, I just wanna be very [00:02:00] clear. This is not about any mental diagnosis and conditions. I am not diving into any anxiety, depression, PTSD, or anything that requires professional support. If this is your experience, then I absolutely encourage you to seek support from a licensed professional.

But what I'm talking about today is something different. I'm talking about those seasons in your life where everything feels so loud. You can't focus, you feel restless, you are tired, but your brain won't slow down, and you're just so overly stimulated. You're thinking about next week while you're still trying to get through today.

And as a nurse, one of the simplest ways I've learned to think about the nervous system is this: it's your body's security system, [00:03:00] right? That's its job, to constantly scan for danger and keep you safe. The problem is modern life today gives us a whole lot for it to scan. We're talking emails, bills, social media, work deadlines, family responsibility, the news itself, text messages, and that never-ending list of things we're supposed to remember and do that sometimes slip th- slips through the cracks.

But eventually, your body, it can start responding to all of it like it's one giant emergency because it doesn't know the difference. It just knows that you're in survival mode and it needs to work. And if we're not careful, you will find yourself living in that consistent mode where your nervous system is just shooting off and firing off nonstop because [00:04:00] we're carrying more stimulation than I think we were ever designed to carry.

And from someone who knows what that feels like, trust me, I am there with you. I knew my nervous system was overloaded when multitasking without actually finishing anything. This idea that I can multitask and do five, eight things at one time does not work. It's just constant overload, and the truth is I really couldn't sit still enough to finish one thing to move on to the next.

I'm answering emails. I'm picking up the phone. I'm thinking about ideas for the podcast. I'm living in possibilities. I'm living in problems and future scenarios that haven't even happened yet, and that's an exhausting place to live because when you are always mentally rehearsing what [00:05:00] might happen, you never get to experience what's actually happening right now in front of you.

And I think a lot of us do that, you know? Like, and we're not even sometimes conscious of doing, ... We're just thinking we're being, problem solvers we're create- you know, putting out fire, fires before they get started And we're trying to, , get ahead of life. We're trying to prepare for every possible outcome.

We're working on not making mistakes, protecting ourselves from disappointment. But, uh, somewhere along the way, we stop being present, we stop living for the moment, and we no longer feel grounded and rooted in who we are. And the truth is, your nervous system wasn't just reacting to what was happening in the moment, it was reacting to everything that we consume.

And that's where I had to get really real with myself, because [00:06:00] sometimes we talk about stress like it comes out of nowhere. But stress, it leaves cues. Cues sometimes we like to,, ignore. But you have to be in this mind frame when you start to feel overly stimulated, and you have to start asking yourself, "What am I feeding my body today?

What am I feeding my mind today?" When I'm talking about feeding your body, like, how are you sup- how are you showing up and supporting your body? Is it sugary drinks because your mind was so overstimulated that you wasn't able to sleep good, so you woke up that morning and the first thing you grabbed was, the high-calorie drink?

, It's very important that when I'm feeling like this, that I'm really con- you know, really conscious about, okay, how am I gonna feed my body? Because my body needs to, [00:07:00] my nervous system needs to calm down, but the rest of it, everything that's working with it, also has to be nurtured. And what am I feeding my mind?

Am I stressed out by the news? 'Cause sometimes, you know, it's, it's okay to know what's going on around you, but it's also sometimes okay to take a break from all of that. So much is happening. Sometimes you have to hit pause on all of that. And also, who's around? Who is stimulating your mind? Who is providing that encouragement to you?

Because if you're around someone that is just as overwhelmed as you are and they're just as anxious, then they're gonna be also feeding you their anxiety, and you already have enough. So sometimes you gotta step back. Think about who you're spending your time with. And what are you listening to every day?

Sometimes changing my music helps put me in a different mind space as well. And have I been scrolling too much? Did I wake up in the [00:08:00] morning and the first thing I did was invite two million people in my home by scrolling through TikTok or Facebook? And like I said earlier, are we resting? Are we getting enough sleep?

Because all of that matters. Energy matters. The conversations you have, the content you consume, and the peop- and the people you allow to have access to you matter. And I know sometimes people roll their eyes when somebody starts talking about energy, but let's be real. We've all walked away from certain conversations feeling drained.

We've all spent time around people who leave us feeling heavier than we, when we arrived. And we all consumed so much bad news, so much drama, so much negativity and noise that we could physically feel the difference afterwards, and the nervous system notice all of it, even when you don't. [00:09:00] And that's what I'm talking about when I say energy.

You have to think about the energy that is surrounding you One thing I realized about myself is that when I'm overwhelmed, I stop creating. It's not the same., What I find myself doing is consuming more, scrolling more, watching more, listening, absorbing different things that are not there to help me, and I lose that creative spark.

And that's a problem for me because creating is the one thing that grounds me, whether it's writing, whether it's recording for this show or coming with concepts and ideas or working on something. Reading books inspires me, but when I get to the point where I don't wanna read, I know something's wrong.

Maybe a day or two, but weeks, two weeks, no, something's going on there. Because creating brings me back to myself. It reminds me that I have a voice, it reminds me that I have [00:10:00] agency, and it reminds me that I'm just not reacting to life, I'm participating in it. And maybe that's something you need to think about too.

What helps you come back to yourself? And not what helps everybody else, what helps you? Because, this is not a one-size-fits-all. , Everybody does something different to bring themselves back to feel centered, to feel grounded. Some people like to walk, some people like to do prayer, some people like gardening, some people it's music, some people love to bake and cook.

Some people like to just take their shoes off, go stand outside in the sun, root their feet into the ground, into the dirt, the grass, and just feel connected with the earth. For some people, it's just the simplest thing as getting that coffee or tea and sitting outside [00:11:00] before the sun comes up, before everyone wakes up in the morning, and just having a moment The point is, it's not what you choose.

It's creating moments where your body gets the message that you're safe. You can slow down. You can breathe

Now, people give a lot of advice. I like to give suggestions and you get to choose, like, what you want to do with all the advice and suggestions that you want. But, , there are things that people will tell you, and mostly it's things that's worked for them. Just know that you have to find what works for you, and it may take some time.

But the thing is, you are the one leading the ship. You are the one that's in control. So whether you decide you wanna meditate, whether you wanna breathe, exercise, , maybe it's something as simple as you need, , drinking [00:12:00] more water, getting more sleep, creating more routine. Here's the thing.

All of those things work. Movement helps. Walking helps. Breathing helps. Meditation helps. Better sleep definitely helps. And when you eat better, you feel better. And the thing in... We all know that these things sound very simple when you're calm, right? When you are calm and your body's not shooting off a thousand things going on at once, it sounds good.

But when your nervous system is already overloaded and you're thinking about all these things, they don't feel or sound simple. Especially when people be like, "Just take a deep breath." And you thinking to yourself, "Girl, if one deep breath was all it took, we'd all be healed by now. I need more than a deep breath."

And I get it. I really do. But what I've learnt, and what I'm still learning, because this is a process, is that [00:13:00] when I'm calming my nervous system, it isn't usually about doing one big thing. It's about small things. It's about consistency. It's about showing up for myself in the smallest ways possible, whether that's getting up in the morning and drinking a glass of water first, whether it's coming up to this room here and sitting and meditating for five minutes or just breathing.

Sometimes it may not be five minutes. Sometimes I may only have time for three And sometimes it's just taking my phone and putting it in a different room Or stepping outside and just really looking at all of God's creations, right? Sometimes you have to look at something bigger than you, whether it's the trees, the mountains, the [00:14:00] lakes.

Sometimes you have to slow down and realize that there's things in life that's bigger than you But it's also about being intentional. You have to be intentional about creating space, creating, uh, moments for rest because I said it before, you can either choose to rest or your body will choose it for you.

But like I said, small things, , making, um, a healthy lunch or choosing a better option during lunchtime if you're not the person that likes to, like, pack a lunch. Sometimes we don't always have time for that. So don't overstimulate yourself trying to think about putting together a lunch. Just choose a better option when it's time.

But those small things done repeatedly

They add up You don't have [00:15:00] to solve next month's problem today, and you don't have to answer every question right away. No one expects you to. And you don't have to carry tomorrow before it gets here All you have to do is come back to the moment, ground yourself, center yourself, and not perfectly, not instantly, but enough for you to feel focused, for you to feel grounded, for you can be more in line with who you are.

Everything doesn't require an immediate response. All right, but before we leave this episode today, I want to invite you into a short breathing and grounding exercise, 'cause I know I need it sometimes. Well, let's be honest, I, I need it a lot, every day, honestly. , And it's the easiest thing to do, and like we said earlier, the easiest things to do is always sometimes the hardest.

It's always the starting that's the hardest part. [00:16:00] But I'm inviting you to come sit with me just for a few minutes to reconnect with yourself. If you are in a safe space and you're able to g- sit comfortably, if you're in a place where you feel like you can close your eyes, this is a good space. But if you are somewhere driving, do not do this.

Do not be getting all comfy while you're driving. But if you are in a safe space and you feel comfortable closing your eyes, let's do so I want you to take a deep breath

I want you to relax your shoulders back. Just roll them on back

I want you f- to feel your jaw unclench and let your hands rest comfortably behind either at your sides or in your lap[00:17:00] 

Allow your body space to just soften, sink into your tailbone

Allow yourself to just arrive in this moment. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, but here

Now let's take another deep breath in

And slowly exhale out

Notice everything around you, the feel of either the chair Notice your feet touching the floor[00:18:00] 

Notice the air moving in and out of your body as you breathe

You don't have to fix anything right now

You don't have to figure anything out right now

Right now you have no problems to solve

For this moment, your only job is to breathe

Just take a deep breath in to inhale peace Slowly exhale tension

Let's inhale calm[00:19:00] 

Let's exhale overwhelm

Let's inhale presence

And let's exhale the need to control everything

Let's just continue to breathe in your own way, at your own pace

As thoughts arrive, and they will, simply notice them and let them flow right on through

No judgment[00:20:00] 

No criticism

Just always return to your breath

All right, let's take one final deep breath in and slowly release it. I want you to wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes. [00:21:00] And when you're ready, open your eyes. Roll your shoulders back Roll your neck from side to side We are releasing all of that and leaving it here. And I want you to remember this. You do not have to carry everything.

You do not have to hold everything together. You don't have to live three weeks ahead of yourself. This moment is enough, and so are you All right, you guys. Thank you so much for spending this time with me, for taking a moment to just center ourselves, slow our nervous system down. Allow yourself a moment to focus.

You can always come back to this. If you know someone that would benefit from having this conversation, to sitting and doing some breathing, then this episode is perfect for them. If you want [00:22:00] more breathing exercises, please join me on my website at beautifulimbalance.com. There are some amazing, um, breathworks and meditations that are quick and short that allow you to hit pause and to reset

All right, you guys, that is all the tea that I have to spill today, but join me next time for more Beautiful and Balanced. Until then, as always, namaste, my friends